I understand nothing, either
by hopelessromantic4life
Summary: Based off of the end of the episode "A foot too big" in April's POV. Subtle hinting to the upcoming episode "Buried Secrets" if you squint.


**What, did you ****_really _****think I was just going to pass up this big of an opportunity? April freaking kissed Donnie; and on the lips, no less! If you honestly thought I wouldn't jump at the chance to make a story out of it, you clearly don't know me at all. My '****_DAW_****' meter was going haywire when I saw that scene, it all but screamed "Write a story about me!" **

**Disclaimer: I, hopelessromantic4life, do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or any of it's characters- Quit it with the victory dance, Casey! Anyway, all rights go to Nickelodeon and the original creators.**

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><p><strong>(April's POV, takes place at the end of "A foot too big. Watch that first to get an idea of what's happening, 'cause I'm not going to sit down and explain it to you)<br>**

"Hey April" I heard Donnie say behind me. I turned slightly to face him and placed my axe against the bench.

"What's up, Donnie?" I asked, smiling softly at him. Donnie sighed and tried to avoid eye contact with me.

"I, um, well, I just wanted to let you know I won't be bothering you with music boxes anymore" he said. I felt the smile slide straight off of my face. The music box he had given me; it was in my room. Under my bed, to be exact. He'd probably spent hours working on it, and I hadn't thanked him in the way I honestly should've. True, he had just stood there smiling at me until the situation was well beyond the realms of awkwardness, but that wasn't entirely _his _fault. Donnie had been raised in the sewers, away from people, for most of his life; he didn't understand social clues on how long you should stand there saying nothing. Of course, I had forgotten that and simply walked away.

I could've _kicked _myself, I felt so bad for what I had done to him. Unfortunately, my guilt-tripping wasn't nearly over yet, as Donnie gave me a very bittersweet (mostly bitter) smile.

"I get it now. Donnie is to April as Bigfoot was to Donnie" he said softly, chuckling as though he found it a little funny for a second. I tried to say something,_ anything _to remind him it wasn't his fault, but my lips just couldn't form the words.

"I'm just... A mutant" Donnie concluded, staring at the ground as though he was ready to cry. My heart ached for him; I wanted to curl up into a ball and sob. My head screaming at me that this was_ MY_ fault, that _I'M_ the reason why my best friend is in so much pain, all because I couldn't decide which guy I liked more. What could I do to make him feel better, to tell him he's not 'just a mutant'? _  
><em>

_"Well, time to put up or shut up" _a part of me said.

_"Is it too late to shut up?" _the reasonable part of my brain begged. Silencing my thoughts, I swallowed the large lump in my throat and looked at him.

"Your not_ just_ a mutant, Donnie" I said slowly, placing my hands on his shoulders. Donnie just stared at me, a rare, utterly confused expression on his face.

"Your _my _mutant" I finished. Then, taking in a deep gulp of breath, I took the terrifying plunge and kissed him, but not on the cheek like I always did. This time, I kissed him full on the lips.

And may I just say that it was the most incredible thing I'd ever done. It was_ totally_ worth being my first real kiss.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, because if I had let it go on any longer than that, I probably wouldn't have been able to stop myself. A goofy grin was covering my whole face as I turned around and went into the house to hide in my room for awhile, the wood chopping that I had been doing just a few minutes before now left completely forgotten.

"I understand, nothing" Donnie mumbled, still staring at me with widened eyes.

Neither do I, Donnie; Neither do I...

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><p>I sighed as I locked the door to my room. Sinking down onto my hands and knees, I crawled over to the bed and unearthed the music box that Donnie had given me. It was still in relatively good shape, though the picture inside was a bit torn up. Well, that's ok, the picture was kinda creepy-<p>

_"Stop that" _I told myself harshly _"He was only trying to be sweet. Besides, what was he supposed to do? Take a picture of me to put inside? That would be REALLY creepy!" _

"Red? Are you ok?" Casey called from the other side of the door.

_"Go away, you're the reason I'm in this mess" _I wanted to snap. Instead, I merely chose to keep my mouth shut.

"Come on, red. I know your in there" he persisted.

"Leave her be, Casey. If the door is locked, she clearly wants to be alone" Raph growled. I heard a foot stomp angrily on the ground, soon followed by footsteps. Thank goodness; I don't think I can handle being around Casey right now. Not after my kiss with Donnie.

At that thought, I touched my lips, still feeling a tingling and burning sensation that was in no way unpleasant. It wasn't as strong as before, though, and if I was being completely honest with myself, (and quite frankly, I was trying not to) I longed to feel it again. I wanted to bust down my door, find Donnie and kiss him again, this time not pulling away before I lost control of myself-

_"Get a hold of yourself, April. Let's not do anything we might regret later" _the rational part of my mind butted in, though I could barely hear it over my far more _interesting _thoughts. (Such thoughts were making me blush even redder than my hair)

I was losing my mind, I knew that. The questions still buzzed around my head, all without clear answers.

_Should I act upon my feelings? _

_Will Donnie forgive me for messing with his emotions? _

_Can I really love a mutant turtle? _

_What am I going to do about Casey? _

Ok, I -kinda- had an answer for that last one. I was going to try and let him down easy the next time he tried to get to first base. Unfortunately, that meant going near him again, something I had been trying to avoid. Not to mention the fact that we were all living in the same place, making a hostile situation incredibly likely. Well, there probably would be soon, now that I had kissed Donnie; there was no turning back now.

Ugh, this is way too complicated. I wish mom was here; she'd know what to do. She always did... Oh well...

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><p><strong>Oh April...*snickers* If only you knew what the next episode has in store for you...(spoilers!)<br>**

**This story_ might_**** end up having a squeal in the near future; it really depends on how the next few episodes go. If not, well then you'll just have to imagine an ending for yourself. Pray with me, fellow aprilXDonnie fans; pray with me.  
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